Archive for August, 2009

…just not that narrow!

Posted in Uncategorized on August 26, 2009 by Gay &...

It dawned on me recently that I will never return to my “golden days” of deep religious faith.  In planning a wedding and subsequently trying to settle into a “normal” life I have noticed that something has been irking me lately.  I only discovered what it was a few days ago while surfing GCN.

 

I have said in the past that GCN has been a really great networking tool for me, and I stand by that claim.  I have to admit that GCN has also sparked some resistance to me returning to my all-encompassing days of religion.  Why?  I truly believe that some of the posters on there and some overly religious people are fake.  Faith is the outward statement that everything is wonderful.

 

It angers me that people can respond to real crisis issues with, “Just pray and everything will work out.”  I hate when religious people become judgmental and holier-than-th0ugh on everything.  It is this hypocrisy that I cannot stand or tolerate anymore.  It is the idea that people pick and choose Bible passages to fit their argument while ignoring glaring issues of logic and humanity.

 

It is the anger and overwhelmed pain I feel when my sibling tells me that that my choices have caused her confusion.  She is not sure how shes feels about my choice of fiance and lifestyle.  But she is trying…

 

Trying to do what?  Trying to remember that I am her brother whom she loves?  Trying to think logically and see that I am still the same person I always was?  Trying to notice that my love for my fiance is just as real and strong as her love for her family?

 

I read a post on GCN by someone who stated that he could not read the posts anymore because instead of bringing him closer to God and his homosexual identity that they were separating the two more.  There are times when I can echo this person’s feelings.  There are times when I get angry thinking that just because I love a man, family parties will always be awkward.

 

In the end, all I want is normalcy.  I want to not feel awkward holding my fiance’s hand with my family around.  I want my nieces and nephews to call him uncle too.  I want to not worry about my upcoming wedding, the ceremony, and how my family will react.  I just want to believe in God the way I want to believe without a church, a Pope, a sister, or anyone telling me I am wrong.  In the end…I just want to be at peace.