…calling all parents.

I was supposed to post about my “fatherhood” experience, but that will need to wait.  I was on GCN today and I read a post that I need to address.  There is a forum to ask for prayers on certain matters.  I often read these and pray for the people/requests presented, but I have to admit that this can often be a melancholy endeavor.  I need to ensure that I am in a strong mood before I delve into depressing stories and sad requests.  Today I was pleasantly surprised.  I read a post from a father in Texas whose 17 year old son came out to him and his wife a few nights ago.

 

Initially, I was nervous.  The subject of the thread was “My son revealed his secret two days ago” from a username that was clearly from Texas.  Before I even clicked the link I could feel my stomach drop from fear of reading another story of a teen being told they were wrong, ugly, or an abomination.  I clicked the link and was immediately drawn into this man’s story.  He had come home to his wife pacing in the kitchen.  She told him that their son had come home from school and was in his room crying.  He and his wife went upstairs to talk to their son.  Through tears the son admitted to his parents that he is gay.

 

The father goes on to explain that is proud of his for his strength and courage.  He explains that he only wants to love his son and show him his support.  He was petitioning GCN members to see if we had advice on how to approach his son in a positive, supportive way.  In writing this I can feel tears welling up.  This is the story I always want to read. 

 

Let me juxtapose this great story with a horrible one.  While working as advisor to the GLBT group on my last campus, I met a high school student who told his mother he was gay and she threw him out.  He was not even allowed back into the house to get his belongings.  His mother said, “No son of mine will be a faggot.”  He moved out to California to live with his grandmother.  About a year later he is doing alright.  Needless to say, he still does not speak to his mother.

 

These two stories make me think about my brother, sister, and cousin.  They all have young children, and I wonder what their reactions would be to hearing that one of their children were gay.  I think it would be idealistic to say that they would all be like the first parent.  I have tried to have the conversation with them about this and how they will plan for this possible outcome.  It is a tough discussion to have with my siblings, but it is important. 

 

Most parents, deep down, want their children to have a better like than they did.  My parents always told me that they were not upset about my orientation, but that they were nervous about the hardships I would face in my life because of it.  I respected and loved them for this.  The Texas father has taken this approach as well.  If you are reading this and have children, think about this question.  How would you handle it?  What would you ask? 

 

In honor of Father’s Day I promise that my next post will be about my new “fatherhood”.  Thanks for reading, and please comment.  Your comments make me want to write.  Peace!

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2 Responses to “…calling all parents.”

  1. Helo there.

    That request touched me, too.

    I don’t know if you’ve heard of this, but a lot of bloggers are participating in a synchro-blog about finding ways to unite churches and gay Christians (on June 24th) and I just wanted to spread the word to the other bloggers I know who blog about these issues.

    http://btgproject.blogspot.com/2009/06/hitting-50.html

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